Victor Counted's Blog

Stories & Ideas Worth Sharing
29 Apr 2014

We Can’t Live in the Past

Melina never lost control of herself. Now she hates herself for allowing Jason to use her and dumb her. Jason got her pregnant and decamped into thin air. He promised to marry and take care of her. She left her ex-boyfriend for Jason but only to discover months later that she had been played. She is 8 months heavy with no man by her side to share the pain of labour. Now she is groaning for her mistake, wishing she had continued her life with her ex who is now happily married to another woman and raising his own family. Melina doesn’t know where to go from here. Her only wish is to kill her untraceable baby father.

Betty got divorced two years ago. She got fed up with her husband’s late night attitude and decided to call it a quit. News has it that he keeps different kinds of girls outside. His wanton behavior will soon cost him his marriage. Betty is in her late 40s hoping to fall in love and find that one person that will rock her world again. She still hopes to find yet another Mr. Right somehow somewhere. Sadly she had been heartbroken by gigolos who are all in for what they can get than offer. Betty has dated over six different guys after her divorce with her ex-husband but only to discover that every guy has his own flaws. In fact her ex-husband was a saint to compare to others. Finding that man that would perfectly fit Betty’s standard and genuinely love her at her twilight is really a rocket science hypothesis. I didn’t mention. Betty reached her menopause too early. Now she mourns quitting her marriage and wish she knew better. If she knew what she knows now, she would have kicked the demon out of her ex-husband without calling it a quit. According to her, the greatest mistake she made was quitting her marriage and not helping the man she love overcome his demon. But it is too late for Betty. Her ex committed suicide after he got the news of their divorce. Betty cannot forgive herself and continues to live in guilt.

Barrett made huge money while in the UK. He sent money home to his mum to buy properties for him in Cape Town. Barrett became one of the richest youngsters in town living abroad. He finally came back home few years later to settle only to discover that his mother had invested his money wrongly. He sold off his remaining properties and decided to use the money to run night clubs. He owned half of the night clubs in town. Few months later, his clubs were shut down on allegation of drug charges by the government. After completing his five years jail time, Barrett was stripped of all he had. He couldn’t find a decent job afterwards because of his criminal record and to add, he has no university degree. Looking back at the wrong choices he made in his short life, Barrett couldn’t take the shame anymore and decided to commit suicide.

Brad’s alcohol addiction had cost him his job. During his grey moments of intoxication, he could gamble his life away. Brad recognized he was headed to the bottomless pit of nothingness and decided to do something about it. He went in for a rehab and became free of alcohol addiction. But he couldn’t forgive himself for the mistakes of the past. He dearly misses some of his good friends who left him during his days of addiction. Brad wish he could change the hands of time but unfortunately will have to live with this stigma for the rest of his life.

Chi’s aborted fetus would have been three years old now! She keeps punishing herself with that thought. Chi is in her mid 30s and not married. She concludes her sin has finally caught up with her. Even, her kid sister got married last year and now has a beautiful baby girl. Chi is so harsh on herself. Scourging her soul in search of repentance for what she did. Now she is weak to even fall in love again and journey into the future.

These stories all have something in common. The characters appear to be time travelers. They travel to their past to mourn the future. They remind me of the story of the two monks who were on a pilgrimage.

One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river was a lady who sat waiting for someone to help her cross the river because she was afraid. On seeing the two monks she pleaded with them to help her. The younger monk turned his back. This was because the members of their order were forbidden to touch a woman.

But to the surprise of the younger monk, the older monk picked up the woman without a word and helped her cross to the other side of the river. When he finally put her down, the younger monk came after him, scolding him for breaking his oath. He ignored him and went on his way for a long time.

Finally, at the end of their journey the older monk turned to the younger one saying these very words: “I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her all day.”

Truly, doing injury to the fleshly stock of our soul will not edit the past, says Leke Alder. The past is the past and should be deleted!

Letting go of the past can be difficult especially when we’ve ignorantly abused it and now have nothing to live for. But really we must develop the vim to establish our hope again and dream again. The dreams of the future can liberate us from the pain of the past. But hey, it would be abnormal not to dream again since it’s not in our nature to dream just once. Authenticate human beings dream again and again and again.

The fiery weight of dreams can be very frustrating. Nobody wants to carry some baggage of hope only to be disappointed again. But that’s where God comes in. Amazing how He can graciously spare us from what we can’t handle and helps us achieve the greatest impossibility.

You’ve condemned yourself far too long enough for the sins/mistakes of the past. I think is high time you understand that God is not man. He will forgive anything! And he will forever forgive!

To prove He is in charge of your life, God creates new opportunities to help you dream again. He makes you fall in love again. He restores your wasted years and broken home and fixes the ‘impossibles’ of your life. God challenges us each day as the sun rises to shrug off the baggage of the past and open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create a desirable bright future.

What happened in your life only happened for a reason. Sometimes our life’s mess can be a springboard for our life’s message. It can be a channel through which God wants to help others. So you have to let the cards unfold and let your story be shown to inspire others. In few years from now, you will understand why you have to go through those dark roads of humiliations to get to where you are.Role models are not perfect people. They are human beings like you and me who have customized their scars and mastered their mess at its peak of impossibility to bring hope to others. There are people that will journey into your life years from now that will need your story to live again. Find them and make sure you dispense hope and help them find strength to live again.

Truly, God knows the end from the beginning. He has corrected our mistakes to make sense of others’ pitfalls. He loves you because of your past, not despite of it. God shapes his face of hope from the mess of the past to prove to the world that he is indeed God. But to do this, we have a duty to perform. We need to find the strength to build a future and not travel to the past to create one. We can’t live in the past. It will drain out our energy. It blurs our eyes away from the brightness of tomorrow. There was a reason God didn’t want Lot’s wife to look back at her Sodom. The bible tells us in Genesis 19:26 that she ignored God’s warning and was drained into a bag of salt.

Sodom is gone to history. And time has come to look up from where we are and pick ourselves back up, dream again, and quit looking back to those burning flames of the past. Look up to Jesus for an incredible bright future.

Get up, get out and start living!

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